I arrived in Assisi exhausted. My 65.5-mile hike was one of the hardest I had done to date. My first stop was a little restaurant close to the Basilica where I could eat a decent meal.

Walking the Way of St. Francis is very different than walking the Way of St. James, better known as the Camino de Santiago Frances route.

First, you don’t have the luxury of stopping every three miles for a coffee or a tortilla like you do on the Camino. By the way, the tortilla is not what we think of in the USA. Tortilla in Spain is an egg dish with potatoes. It’s delicious and gives you the macronutrients you need to maintain your energy.

The restaurant I stopped at was perfect. I ran into one of the pilgrims I had met along the way, a young man from Florence. We said our hellos and were both thrilled we had made it.

I asked the waiter, “What is your favorite thing on the menu?” He said, “The lemon chicken.” I said, “I’ll take it with some roasted rosemary potatoes.”

It was so good. It was nice to eat something rich in protein, which had been lacking on this trip.

I enjoyed my rest and meal and then I was off to find my hotel, which was on the other side of Assisi.

As I strolled through the city, I was captivated by the energy of it. I found my hotel and got situated. I was settling in for three nights, which was nice because I had been staying only one night at each location.

That’s the thing about these hikes. You have to become comfortable with packing and unpacking on a daily basis.

I showered and decided, I’m staying in.

The next morning was a big day for me. I was meeting Friar Dan.

I had reached out to the Basilica about meeting with someone while I was there for a “spiritual session,” and the response I got was hilarious:

“What do you mean by ‘a session’?

If it’s for a guided tour, we don’t do guided tours for individuals, but you can rent an audio guide at the information office.

If it’s for confession or spiritual guidance, you can find friars available in the chapel of confessions every day.”

When I received the response, I thought, okay, I’ll do the audio tour and meet a friar while I’m there.

Then I received an email from Friar Dan.

“Hi Lisa,

I am Friar Daniel, a Franciscan priest working at the Basilica of St. Francis in Assisi.

I could meet you for a session of ‘spiritual direction’ (a loaded concept) on one of the days you are here.

Do you think it would serve you best at the beginning of your time here or toward the end?

Let me know and we can schedule a time to meet.

You have made a good choice to come to Assisi, Lisa. I don’t believe you will be disappointed.

Blessed Easter Season to you!

fdan”

We agreed to meet on the 19th at 9:30 a.m. I was excited.

When I was young, I was raised Catholic. My parents were very Catholic, and  had gone to Catholic schools. In fact, my mom attended the University of Dallas, which has a campus in Rome. Friar Dan told me he knew them.

I had my First Communion and was confirmed.

After that, my parents lost their connection with the church, and our lives took on a life of their own. That’s a story for another time.

Anyway, I was going to meet Friar Dan. Super exciting.

I got up early, showered, went downstairs to eat breakfast, and was excited to tour the Basilica and meet Friar Dan.

While having breakfast, I met a couple sitting next to me from the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. Such a small world. They were traveling all over Europe because they were expecting their first child in November. She works for the Catholic Diocese.

Off I went to meet Friar Dan.

He had invited me to join a tour group of students from Kentucky. They were super sweet to allow me to be part of it. They were Protestants from Kentucky.

We were waiting for Friar Dan, and I noticed him walking toward us. I had Googled him, so I knew what he looked like. I yelled and threw my arms up, “Friar Dan!!!”

He laughed.

He did his introduction, and off we went to tour the Basilica.

The tour was overwhelmingly beautiful, and learning the history of Francis of Assisi’s life, as well as the biblical history, was calming.

We couldn’t take pictures, so I took notes. I wanted to soak up as much as I could.

Why did I feel compelled to go to Assisi? It was a calling I had received probably 30 years ago after reading one of Wayne Dyer’s books.

St. Francis was a party animal in his younger years, and his dream was to become a knight in shining armor and fight in the Fifth Crusade.

When I heard this, it reminded me of when I worked for a News Talk radio station in Phoenix. I was always telling my boss Brett, “We need to go on a crusade,” and I meant it.

Like Francis of Assisi, you must believe in something greater than yourself and have the courage to crusade for it.

I very much feel that way with my role at Amen Clinics. We are on a crusade to revolutionize brain health, just as St. Francis was on a crusade for Jesus.

Francis originally dreamed of becoming a knight and participating in the Crusades, and he did until his spiritual awakening ultimately led him down a very different path.

One of the most remarkable moments in his life happened during the Fifth Crusade around 1219. While Christians and Muslims were at war, Francis crossed battle lines and went to meet the Muslim Sultan, Al-Kamil.

He did not go to fight.

He went to listen, speak peacefully about his faith, and seek understanding.

That was radical for the time.

Francis believed people could be transformed through love, humility, and example rather than force.

So when people talk about the “crusade” of St. Francis, they are often referring to his mission to rebuild hearts, restore faith, serve others, and live differently in a world driven by power and greed.

Francis was listening to God, and God told him, “Francis, what are you doing here? Go back to Assisi.”

That’s when he stepped away from wanting to become a knight and went on a different crusade: one focused on cultivating peace and harmony, with the epiphany that “war is not holy.”

“Blessed are the peacemakers.”

Now, this opens up a can of worms for me because the question I have around peacemaking is this:

Are you a peacemaker trying to keep your own peace, or are you a peacemaker trying to build peace inside your business, family, friendships, or any other social circle you are part of?

Friar Dan was an engineer before he got his call to the Franciscan order.

He said during the Basilica tour, “If you want to know God’s will for you, find the deepest longing in your heart.”

Listen.

Friar Dan shared that Francis of Assisi suffered from malnutrition and died at the young age of 44.

Our tour with Friar Dan lasted almost two hours.

You’re not allowed to take pictures in the Basilica, so I was obedient, even though I saw other people taking pictures. 😊

When I was waiting for my train back to Rome, I met a woman who had taken a picture of the tomb of St. Francis, and she sent it to me. 😊

Now, as the tour ended, Friar Dan and I were off for our one-on-one conversation.

I didn’t have an agenda other than wanting to understand more.

We had a casual conversation and shared life experiences.

He grew up in New York with nine brothers and sisters. He was an engineer, had a girlfriend, and was eventually called to the seminary.

One of his brothers passed away in a car accident, and one of his good friends discovered a carbon monoxide leak that saved several people from death.

He shared several other stories from his years as a Franciscan friar and his decade living in Assisi.

I shared that I also had six brothers and that one of my brothers had died from accidental carbon monoxide poisoning.

He told me to have a relationship with Christ, pray, fast, and remember that Jesus is always listening.

I left my meeting with Friar Dan feeling curious, grounded, blessed, and grateful that he had taken the time to meet with me and invite me to be part of the tour.

Then I was off.

I stopped for lunch and then headed out to explore more of Assisi. I walked down to San Damiano, where St. Francis heard God speak to him, telling him to rebuild His church because it was in ruins.

Francis took this as his calling and sold some of his belongings to help make that happen. However, that decision created conflict with his father, and eventually Francis wound up hiding in a cave to escape his father’s wrath.

His father eventually found him, brought him home, beat him, and locked him in a small storeroom. That storeroom still exists inside the Basilica of St. Clare, which I later toured as well.

Think about his life for a moment.

How does this mirror our own lives?

We all move through challenges with parents, family, friends, work, and relationships. Suffering is part of the human experience. The only difference is our stories may not end up in history books like St. Francis.

I fell in love with the grounds at San Damiano. There was a grassy area with a statue of St. Francis, and I wanted so badly to walk barefoot and get grounded in Assisi, but they wouldn’t let me.

There was another area overlooking the valley where a statue stood, but it was blocked off. I wanted to jump the fence so badly, but I didn’t. 😊

Then I headed to the Basilica of St. Clare, where she is buried.

St. Clare was born in 1193 and died in 1253 in Assisi, just one day after Pope Innocent IV officially approved her monastic rule for the Poor Clares. She was 59 years old.

Before my trip, my friend Kate from high school messaged me on Facebook and said, “Before you go to Assisi, you need to watch the movie Brother Sun, Sister Moon.”

The movie tells the story of St. Francis and St. Clare, and I highly recommend it to anyone traveling to Assisi. Watching it gave me a completely different perspective as I hiked across the Italian mountainside toward the city. I kept picturing Clare and Francis playing on those same hillsides centuries ago.

Standing in front of the small storeroom where Francis had been imprisoned by his father left me in shock that a parent could punish a child that way.

Walking through the Basilica of St. Clare and reading the history gave me a deep sense of compassion and understanding for the sacrifices both Francis and Clare made to follow what they believed God was calling them to do.

People called them crazy.

And what I love about that is most people we read about in history books were called crazy at some point in their lives before they made profound impacts that shaped the world.

So if someone calls you crazy because you are following your calling, let them.

I remember when I felt called to write Testosterone: The Next Drug Epidemic. People thought I was crazy. I didn’t care. I knew this was the direction I was supposed to go, and I’m grateful I followed it.

I specifically remember a woman telling me, “People are talking about you. Why don’t you just get over this testosterone thing and move on with your life?”

Well… it turns out I was on to something.

Anyway, back to my two days in Assisi.

I wrapped up the evening with dinner and spent the night reflecting on the lives of Friar Dan, St. Francis, and St. Clare.

The next morning, I woke up thinking I would go back to the Basilica and pick up my Testimonium. When someone walks over 100 kilometers on the Way of St. Francis, they receive one.

I had breakfast and started walking across Assisi again toward the Basilica.

While I was picking up my Testimonium, the woman helping me asked, “Will you be attending the Pilgrim Mass at 6 p.m. tonight? We’ll announce that you’re here.”

I said, “Sure, I’ll attend.”

Then I thought, you know what? After my conversation with Friar Dan yesterday, I think I want to go to confession.

Now, I hadn’t been to Catholic confession in probably 50 years. But I was in Assisi, and honestly, what better place to go?

So I walked over and asked if I could go to confession.

I had forgotten everything I was supposed to do, so I asked the priest for help and explained that it had been many years. He kindly told me to step outside, read a guide, and then come back.

So I did.

When I returned, I began confessing my sins.

Then he stopped and said, “Jesus loves you, but I cannot give you absolution.”

He explained it was because of my divorce and that I needed to work it out with my church back in the United States.

I was disappointed.

But in my mind, I thought, that’s okay. I can move through this disappointment.

In the meantime, I had sent a thank-you email to Friar Dan that read:

“Friar Dan,

Thank you for inviting me to join your tour group from Kentucky yesterday.

I learned so much and took away some wonderful spiritual nuggets I can apply to my life.

I enjoyed our conversation afterward, and it moved me to go to confession today.

The priest blessed me but could not offer absolution because of my divorce.

He gave me direction on what to do when I return home.

Your kindness and generosity have been a highlight of my trip.

The Lord give you peace,

Lisa Marie”

I left the Basilica and wandered back through the city feeling a little somber, but I also knew I would be okay.

I even texted my ex-husband Kevin and asked if he had ever experienced anything like this in confession. He told me the last time he had gone was about 15 years ago, and their marriage had never even come up.

Later that evening, I headed back to the Basilica for the 6 p.m. Pilgrim Mass.

As I arrived, I ran into Alex and her dad Murray from New Zealand again, and we decided to sit together for Mass.

About 10 minutes before Mass started, Friar Dan tried calling me. Then he sent me a message on WhatsApp.

He told me he had read my email and that something about the situation didn’t sit right with him.

He asked, “Did you make a good confession?”

I said yes.

I explained that I hadn’t been to confession since I was a child and that there was a lot to cover, so I spoke more in overall themes.

Then he asked, “Did you confess your serious sins?”

I said yes.

Then he said something I will never forget:

“I’m coming to give you absolution so you can receive communion.”

A few minutes later, Friar Dan appeared.

Not in his Franciscan robes.

Not in some grand dramatic religious moment.

He showed up in jeans and a T-shirt.

Alex and Murray watched the whole thing unfold.

Right there, before Mass, Friar Dan began the prayer of absolution:

“God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of His Son has reconciled the world to Himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

Amen.

Then he smiled and told me, “Say five Hail Marys every day until Sunday. Mother Mary is watching you, and she knows who you are.”

Then he handed me a Miraculous Medal of the Virgin Mary.

It read:

“O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.”

Then he left.

Just like that.

Now, if you don’t think that was God’s grace and an Assisi miracle, I do.

Friar Dan didn’t have to do that.

But he did.

He told me the other priest didn’t know me, and he was right. He didn’t.

Maybe the other priest thought that because I didn’t know what I was doing in confession, I hadn’t received my First Communion or been confirmed. Who knows.

What I do know is this:

It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about priests, doctors, teachers, or leaders — there will always be different opinions.

One person tells you one thing.
Another tells you something completely different.

This happens in medicine all the time.

You go to one doctor and hear one diagnosis, then go to another and hear something entirely different.

Same thing in school.
Same thing in business.
Same thing in life.

Had I not sent that thank-you email to Friar Dan, none of this would have happened.

Had I closed off in disappointment, none of this would have happened.

Instead, grace met me in Assisi.

When I left that evening, I felt lighter.

Free.

As I walked back through Assisi, I ran into the Italian couple from Argentina and the other Italians I had met earlier on the pilgrimage. They hugged me tightly.

Then I received a sweet text from Kaye from Australia, and later I met Renata and Witold one last time to say goodbye.

I went to Assisi with no expectations other than feeling called there for the past 30 years.

I left with a profound understanding of St. Francis, St. Clare, humanity, grace, and the reminder that priests are human too.